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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

New Rant!: $2.2B Burning a Hole in My Pocket.

What would you do if you had $2.2 billion dollars? Would you pay teachers better? Dispense the money back to taxpayers to spend it how they wish? (It's enough for a $6 bacon guacamole burger from Carl's Jr. for every man, woman & child in America!) Maybe you'd fix some potholes or help save an endangered species. How about getting some quality armor for soldiers?

Or...

Would you build a nuclear-powered attack submarine and name it after your home state? (In this case, Texas.)

Me? I’d buy a country, for sure. I’m fairly certain you can find a half-way decent fixer-upper for around a billion. I'd invest the other billion into upgrading it, and put a big goddamn wall around it. Then, I'd bring in a Starbucks. And with the last .2 billion dollars (however much that is) I could, you know, get a couple kegs of PBR and some strippers and invite everyone over to watch reruns of America's Funniest Home Videos.

3 comments:

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