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Friday, August 22, 2008

New Rant!: Middle America's Guide to Being Patriotic

Middle America's Guide to Being a Patriot

Step 1: Surround yourself with American flags. On your clothes, on your envelopes, on your toilet paper. Doesn't matter, just whatever you do, do it more than anyone else and make sure everyone knows it.

Step 2: Be related to people who were or are currently in the military. (Note: It it not necessary for you yourself to have ever served. Military service by proxy is good enough.)

Step 3: Be white, Christian, Republican, poor, and willfully ignorant. It also helps to be third generation American or better.

Step 4: Forward Anti-Obama spam messages quickly, often and with zero regard for who you or are forwarding them to.

And there you have it, the four easy steps to being a true patriot and a good American.


Anonymous said...

There is a mistake on step 3. Being white and Republican and poor is an oxymoron.

Random Stranger said...

I think the word you're looking for is "redundant".

Anonymous said...

Actually, no, I'm pretty sure I got it the first try.

Republican voters have a higher average income than Democratic voters. Also, whites have a higher average income than non-whites.